Clock Jokes

Q: Why did the scientist drop a wrist watch into his flask?
A: He was looking for a timely solution.

Q: Why was the clock in the gazebo?
A: It was time out.

Q: What did the robber say to the clock?
A: Hands up!

Q: What does a wall clock do after it stops ticking?
A: It hangs around.

Q: What do you call a tense clock?
A: All wound up.

Q: What did the street clock say to the tower clock?
A: High there!

Q: Where did the clock finish the race?
A: Wherever it wound up.

Q: What did the sea captain say to the clocks on the galley?
A: All hands on deck.

Q: What did the second hand say to the hour hand as it passed by?
A:  See you again in a minute.

Q: What do you call a story that one clock tells to another?
A: Second hand information.

Q: What did the unwound clock say to its owner?
A: It’s about time!

Q: What did the watch say to the clock?
A: Hour you doing?

Q: Why did the girl sit on her watch?
A: She wanted to be on time!

Q: Why did the man throw the clock out the window?
A: He wanted to see time fly.

Q: What do you get when you cross a clock and a chicken?
A: A cluck

Q: How can you tell if a clock is hungry?
A: It’ll go back four seconds!

Q: What dog always knows the time?
A: A watch dog.

Q: What time was it when the elephant sat on the clock?
A: Time to get a new clock.

Q: Why did the man put a clock under his desk?
A: He wanted to work over time.

Q: What happens when you annoy a clock?
A: It gets ticked off.

Q: Why didn’t the clock work?
A: It needed a hand.

Q: What do you call a grandfather clock?
A: An old timer.

Q: Why did the boy put an alarm clock in his shoe?
A: He didn’t want his foot to fall asleep.

Q: Why did the clock get sent to the principal’s office?
A: It was tocking too much.

Q: What time does the duck wake up?
A:  At the quack of dawn.

Q: What candy never arrives on time?
A:  Choco-late.